Monday, 15 March 2010

Pile Up

When i have a seizure it is like a pile up in the brain. Too many objects with too many aspects and even ideas of themselves all in one moment. Like a hose thats been stepped on maybe.. the water flow restricted so it is faster and seems to have more of a presence as a result.
I have so many ideas and ways i could change things and make things different and i'm not afraid of work... if i see its not being done but should be hey! ill do it... then along comes another seizure and i am a mouse again. Odd.

Its good to be ambitious isnt it? Aren't many entrepreneurs and non depressive people applauded for it? Sometimes i think i should be like a queen or empress.. people could come from miles around and ask me what they should do. And i would have an answer for all of them i know i would... send them all off into the world with renewed focus.. taking the ideas that fly from inside me and embodying them for the benefit of those who were experiencing the hole in which the idea fits.. but hadnt quite got round to distinguishing the problem as a hole.

Maybe those angel beings who are made of light feel like this.. maybe i am a step down from that.. though not quite human either. So i experience slightly less frustration than the non corporeal beings i guess. I should be thankful for that. I can hug people and i am here when the people ask me for answers.
I wonder though... just how reliable am i?... comparatively of course...

Now you have the pile up in your mind maybe...
or something like it :-p

Apologys in advance,
Emily x